Today a memory struck me…..I was eight years old working hard on my valentines day card box for school. I wanted desperately to win the card
box competition. It was a shoe box all covered in pink with hearts and stickers
all over it. It truly was an adorable box. Valentines day came and I sat my box
down to be judged. In walked “Laura”, her mother was on the PTA and they had
the nicest home in town and the "perfect" parents. Or at least that’s what my little mind believed. She
always looked perfect, dressed perfect, smelled perfect, it seemed as though
everything she did might just be perfect. I felt like a wallflower that paled
in comparison to her. She sat her box down; it really was great; a robot box
made with tin foil. It even had a little red nose. I just knew that I wasn’t
going to win. I tried to prepare my heart but it never feels good to lose…to
not be good enough. She won!! She deserved it, her box was stunning really and
she had a mom whom I am sure helped her every step of the way. I carried my box
home, head held low as I crossed the tracks to the “other” side of town.
I was walking down the sidewalk today (on my way to my Childs Valentines day party) when I
saw a Valentines Day card ripped in half and laying in the snow. That’s when
the memory came back. I pondered as I drove to pick up candy for the party. I
thought of the depths of soul and heart that desire to be accepted.
I remember the day the Lord spoke to my heart and told me
that if I would accept His Beloved son, that He would accept me!! I was at a
church service and the pastor started talking about “the cool kids”. He asked
any of us if we had ever felt like we were on the outside looking in. My heart
beat faster. Years of pain stemming from neglect, abandonment, and truly just
feeling like I never really fit anywhere came to the surface. God was speaking
to me. The man then held a high school letter jacket up. He asked anyone to
come forward that wanted to be accepted and put on the letter jacket. I stepped
out of my seat and slowly walked to the front. A man prayed with me that I
would come to know the acceptance and love of God through Jesus Christ. Days later
I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior. That was a little over six years ago.
Since then He has shown me that He will always love me, He
will never leave me or forsake me, that even when my heart condemns me, He is
greater than my heart and knows everything, to take heart for He has overcome
the world, and to rest in Him where I do not have to strive to be perfect.
Strivings cease. The perfect One came and I can believe in Him, rest in Him,
hide in Him, and let His perfect and precious life cover mine. Finally freedom
and TRUE acceptance from GOD!!! If He is for me, who can be against me.
So today as I think of the insecure little girl who desired
to be noticed I am met with the breathtaking truth that I am the apple of my
Fathers eye!!! Wow!!! Praying that these truths wash over you today as we
celebrate LOVE!!
