I’ve struggled to find the words to what birthed in my soul
the day that my dad died. Death,
that brought life. Kind of an oxymoron, but exactly what my Heavenly Father
said. HE who loses his life will find his life.
As I held the hands of the man
that at one point held my tiny little frame. The man who took part in my
creation, breathing his last breathes as he prepared to be held in the eternal
arms of the one who created him. Worlds collide. I watched as the eternal reached down into the temporal with
love, grace, and tenderness. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of
His saints. Perfect words, precious. Delicate moments held by time. I whisper to
my dad “ It’s okay dad, I’m going
to be okay. Go be with Jesus. He will take care of me until I see you again.”
His eyes are opened wide gazing with fear and awe as he gazes at what awaits
him. He isn’t looking at the tiles in the ceiling. A curtain between this world
and the heavenly realms has been opened. He is being ushered into the presence
of GOD ALMIGHTY!! Death gives birth to life.
The machine is chirping because his heart has stopped. My
hand is raised high as I realize that I am standing on HOLY ground. The nurses
are rushing in. Relief and grief swim in my soul!! They dance in unison to the
complexity of human emotion. I
cry, I remember. Little snapshots play through my head all day. I can still
feel the warmth of his forehead on my hand.
Jon and I laugh and cry. We embrace much more this day. Our
hands keep finding one another. We grieve together with Love and Hope at the center.
We look at one another with new eyes. Depths in the soul, that were not there
just days before. We hold one another just a little longer than usual.
Suddenly life’s color is sharp and the brevity is very
clear. All things that were skewed are brought into perfect focus. We are
sojourners just passing through a foreign land. Life is a vapor. Like the dew
on the grass, there in the morning gone by the afternoon. My eyes were opened
along with his!!!
John 12
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