Thinking back today about the day my eyes were opened to the TRUTH. He had a name....JESUS. I was raised in anything but a Christian home. We acknowledged that there was a God but there was no relationship with HIM. We were not allowed to say G*# D@&it*. Every once in a while we would pop into a church around Christmas or Easter but other than that we followed our own moral compass, which let me tell you was pretty low. I found myself imprisoned to sin, serving it as a slave. There was no joy in my life and I lived captivated by fear and darkness.
The day came that I decided to talk to this far off God. I had questions for Him. Did He really have the power to save a wicked wretch like me? Who was this guy Jesus that people said was His Son? I remember the day that He answered those questions December 8th of 2005. I bowed down on the floor of my bedroom and confessed with my mouth and believed with my WHOLE heart that Jesus was the Son of God and that He paid for my sins. That was the night I was transformed from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. I began serving a new Master that night, One who was gracious and forgiving, the Lord Jesus Christ. 19 days later I found out that I was pregnant with Jack and my son Brandon was 8 years old.
My mission in life had changed. I had a child and one on the way. My mission of motherhood in Christ began that day. One thing that I did not understand was psalm 127:3. I was never treated Like a blessing or reward. It seemed as though most of the time I was an inconvenience. Major work began in my heart, mind, and soul right away. The Lord began to show me that these children were my heritage and reward. His word that is sharper than any two edged sword began cutting through years of lies and my own hurts as a child.
Another thing the Lord began to show me was that I was to be a keeper of my home. At this point I was an unmarried new believer with two children. I was lonely and desired companionship that I was able to find in the Lord. I remember the long nights of raising an infant alone. No one was there to help in a physical sense but my dependency on the Lord grew deeper and deeper. Soon the Lord opened a door for me to move into a loving Christian home with two precious sisters. I met a young man and began dating. (this young man was a total distraction in my life) a word to single Christian moms....be very careful about the man you allow into your life. Your adversary the devil roars around like a lion seeking whom he may devour and knows your weaknesses...he knows the desperation of a young Christian woman to be married. Our identity should wholly be made up in the Lord. Trust Jesus to help you find a man after His heart and accept warning from other believers when they see warning signs in your life.
At this same point the Lord was working in Jackson's dads life. Little did I know that he would soon be hitting his knees and coming to salvation....that is another blog in itself ;) maybe that blog will be titled " First generation Christian wife".
Soon after Jon (jacks dad) came to the Lord it became evident to me that this was a real conversion. I decided with the aid of Godly counsel that Jon and I should get married. We both laugh about this season now...I basically asked him to marry me. Lol!!
Major sanctification has taken place in us both as we learn how to serve one another and love sacrificially. Early in our marriage we decided it would be best for me to stay home and take care of the house and our children. This began the journey of discipleship for my children. I honestly had NO idea what I was doing. I mean I knew how to love and care for thence in a physical sense but how could I nurture their little spirits. Honestly....by a lot of grace! In the early days we banned most tv, video games etc....it was all evil in my eyes. Something stirred in my heart that I was creating an environment that was "safe" but made God appear rigid and demanding in my children's eyes. I longed for freedom in my life and theirs to know what was acceptable. I didn't want to be a liberal parent just for the sake of my kids liking me...you know? Brandon and I still joke about when I took Pokemon away from him and told him that this game was from Satan. I told him that only Satan sucked life from beings. Whoa!!! Honestly this was all just regurgitated info I picked up from other moms and dads. I remember being on my knees so much in those early days of my faith begging God to give wisdom of how to raise my kids for His glory.
I didn't realize how much I wanted to write on this subject so I will conclude this as the beginning of my journey:) can't wait to share more of what the Lord has taught me!! I would LOVE to hear some of your stories too! Be looking for part 2.
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